A creepy place that isn't on your map

I had heard that my phone would go dead. Heck, that happens in the mountainous notch by my house. What I did not expect was for the GPS system on my laptop computer to go haywire and the screen to go blank, as if secretly blocked by mysterious energy rays.

That was my honest experience as I drove by Dick Cheney's favorite Undisclosed Location.

We know these places exist, and we understand why they are not publicized. This one exists on no official maps. It's been there since 1954, in the height of the Cold War, when President Truman commissioned an underground lair in case of nuclear attack. The neighbors still affectionately call it "Harry's Hole."

Since the basement bunker of a West Virginia resort was decommissioned as a Continuity of Government site, this other spot has taken on greater secret significance. It has been confirmed that the Vice President retreated there on September 11.

It is not marked, and a chance discovery of a Wikipedia entry piqued my curiosity. Since I was driving through the area about a month ago, I decided to drive by and see what there was to see. That's when the phone went dead and the computer went blank, both of them reawakening after I had moved beyond jamming distance.

A black SUV with tinted windows watched me drive away. I'm absolutely certain that the people inside know my license plate, address, and voting record. They are also probably monitoring this blog, so I don't dare say anything else.

But here's the spookiest thing of all: when I described my "visit" to my family, my dad began to smile. Then he said, "You ought to see it on the inside - real James Bond stuff, along with a full-sized underground golf course!" It turns out that he visited this top-secret bunker years ago, when he did top-secret work at IBM.

My goodness! I had better not write anything else about this or else my computer might get jammed again. And if International Men of Mystery kidnap and torture me to find out the precise location, I'm not talking.